07 March, 2008

Don’t You Die Tonight

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
A coffin lid above -

Know that you aren’t alone
Many others share your fate,
You’re lucky you’ve already gone,
Or you’d have to wait.

My apologies to Vikram Seth, but I couldn’t resist being inspired after reading the WTF news of the day:

The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”

It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”

I’d love to be the cop responsible for punishing offenders.

Constable Varma, I haven’t seen you for a week, where have you been?

Sir, remember the old lady who popped it last Sunday? I went to the afterlife looking for her.

I see. And you bought an “I love Cannes” T-shirt over there?

(Link via email from Phani Vajapeyazula.)