Girls without nipples, and ding-dong disease

Check out I Used to Believe, an awesome site that collects silly beliefs that people had as children. A few examples:

Quarter of an hour is 25 minutes.

If you don’t hold your breath as you pass a cemetery you will die or become possessed.

You can get pregnant from kissing.

You must marry someone with the same surname as you.

Oral sex is talking about sex.

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

Great delight. Should I confess? Okay, a couple of mine:

1] When I was a kid, certainly years before puberty, a school friend asked me what women’s breasts looked like. “They’re like balloons,” I informed him. “Girls don’t have nipples.”

2] As time went by, I discovered that women had nipples. One day a classmate asked me how girls masturbated. I wanted to appear knowledgeable, so I quickly improvised and said, “They play with their nipples.” (I was in a boys school, naturally.)

3] For a few weeks after I discovered erections, I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I’d seen my ding-dong in two states, but in all the pictures I saw of statues of naked men, there was only one kind of ding-dong depicted. I thought I might have a ding-dong disease.

4] At different stages in my childhood, I have even believed in God and palmistry and benevolent government. I also believed in the concept of soul mates. The horror!

Enough! No more! It’s your turn now, comments are open, do share your silly childhood beliefs. And don’t comment on mine, please. Thank you.

(Link via Marginal Revolution.)