07 March, 2007

Greg Chappell and the Bong Bombshell

Greg Chappell walks into his hotel room after a hard day’s play. To his immense surprise, there is a Bong bombshell on his bed, in an elegant tanter sari. She smiles at him, raises one eyebrow seductively, and lets her palloo drop.

Chappell: My goodness, what is this? Who are you?

Bombshell: Greg-da, I’m a huge fan of yours, and I’ve come to express my admiration for your sexy, ahem, coaching!

Chappell: Take off your sari immediately!

Bombshell: What, so fast? I thought you were into ‘process’ and all.

Chappell: Off with your sari before I get violent!

Bombshell: Ok, baba, ok, off it comes. [Starts getting out of sari.] So all these stories about your being vegan are highly exaggerated. Well, I can’t wait. I always did prefer the faster form of the game.

[Bombshell takes off her sari and hands it to Chappell, her bosom heaving within a scandalously inadequate blouse. Chappell grabs the sari, and tears it up into 20 tanter pieces.]

Chappell: Now get out!

Bombshell: Huh? Big boy, why did you get the covers off the pitch if you didn’t intend to do any batting? I mean, my sari…

Chappell: I don’t care about you, never did like Bongs anyway. It was the sari that pissed me off.

* * *

IANS reports:

As comeback man Sourav Ganguly gears up to prove himself on the 22 yards of the Caribbeans, he also makes an appearance on the nine-yards of cloth all Indian women love to wear - the traditional sari!

With the World Cup bugle sounded and Ganguly making a fairy-tale comeback, the famed handloom weavers of West Bengal are encashing on the frenzy as ‘Sourav saris’ are set to hit the market.

Dada, as Ganguly is fondly called, is being featured on the Bengali tanter sari (handloom sari) made at Katwa in Burdwan district, about 150 north of here.

Joy. After Ganguly’s remarkable comeback, I’m sure there’ll be many takers for those saris. Who knows, if India win the World Cup, they might even put Chappell on the border of the Ganguly sari, and all will be hunky dory again.

Update: If Mandira Bedi can have Dravid on her chest, what’s wrong with Ganguly saris?