17 July, 2007

“Metaphysical activities increase”

Trust the nation’s biggest English-language newspaper to cover this immensely important story, with global, even galactic, consequences: “Saturn makes a move on Leo!”

Apparently, Saturn entered Leo last night, hopefully with Leo’s consent, and the Times of India is at hand to advise us how to deal with it. An excerpt:

For those whose names start with chu, ch, che, cho, la, li, lu, le, lo, aa, ee, u, a, ee, u, ae:

Your health will suffer, so avoid eating out. Long journeys will be gainful, metaphysical activities increase. Prone to theft while travelling . Work pressure will be very high, you may have problems from superiors. Loss of money is seen, so keep away from the stock market. Friendships may break due to ego. Partnership will not be suitable. Plenty of travel, but no time for family.

For those whose names start with o, ba, vi, vu, ka, ki, ve, vo:

You will recover from a prolonged illness. Promotions with financial gains and favours from seniors is seen. Investments will bring good gains. Business tours will be profitable. Favours from the opposite sex will also come your way. A good time to buy property and save money. Job changes shall be favourable.

And so on. Needless to say, people who believe in this rubbish will ignore the bits that don’t fit, and dwell on the ones that do. If their name begins with “o, ba, vi, vu, ka, ki, ve, vo,” they will overlook the absence of a prolonged illness in their recent past, and focus on the bit about “favours from the opposite sex,” possibly on a “profitable” business trip. (Indeed, the secret to much belief is wishful thinking.) It depresses me that there is a market for this crap—though almost everything depresses me these days, so maybe the problem is me.

(Some earlier posts on superstitious nonsense: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22.)