04 June, 2008

Nonsense With Emphasis

The anecdote of the day comes from Lou Cannon:

In 1976, [Gerald] Ford had never run for office beyond his Grand Rapids congressional district; while an estimable human being and an underrated president, he was a plodding campaigner and often a dreadful public speaker. His speechwriters once tried to improve his delivery by writing the words “WITH EMPHASIS” in the margin of his text. Ford, denouncing something or other as “nonsense,” incorporated the notes into his speech and told a startled audience: “I say to you this is nonsense with emphasis!”

Meanwhile, it seems that Hillary Clinton has said that she is ready to be the VP candidate of a man she has constantly decried as being too inexperienced for the top job and not “ready on day one.” Heh. I can imagine the following scenario:

The bedside clock shows 3 am. Hillary Clinton’s phone rings. She picks it up.

Hillary: Hello. Who is this?

Obama’s voice: Hillary, hi, this is Barack. I hope I didn’t wake you up.

Hillary: No, of course not, Barack. Tell me, what is it?

Obama’s voice: Hillary, I have a question to ask you.

Hillary: I know what it is! Yes I will join you on your ticket! Together we will win! All the women will vote for me, I’m a woman! All white people will vote for me, I’m white! All Americans will vote for me, I’m entitled, I’m a Clinton! I even promise to keep Bill out of your wing in the White House, provided I have the budget to hire interns!

Obama’s voice: Er, actually, what I was going to ask was…

Hillary: Yes?

Obama’s voice: ... can you lend me your recipe book? I’m told you’re a really good cook.

Hillary shrieks, and then finds that Bill is shaking her as she lies on the floor, clutching the phone.

Bill: What happened, honey, did you have a bad dream? You must come to bed now, you’ve been lying besides the phone for hours, and you fell asleep like this.

Hillary: I know. Yes, I guess I had a bad dream. But I’ll stay awake now. I’m not leaving the phone.

Bill: Why?

Hillary: Because I’m not a quitter.