Amit Varma is a writer based in Mumbai. He worked in journalism for over a decade, and won the Bastiat Prize for Journalism in 2007. His bestselling novel, My Friend Sancho, was published in 2009. He is best known for his blog, India Uncut. His current project is a non-fiction book about the lack of personal and economic freedoms in post-Independence India.
I have decided that words that begin with the hard, heartless, masculine letter ‘T’ sometimes sound much better without them. For example, such charm would come to sit under a ‘ree’. How nice it would be to ‘ouch’ someone you love on the ‘ummy’. To hear the rain ‘ippetty-ap-ap’ on the roof, indeed, to travel in a ‘rain’, to ‘umble and fall’ after ‘ripping’ on an ‘omato’ that just happens, serendipitously, to be on the floor. Even the ‘Imes of India’ sounds suitably frivolous.
Indulge me—give me some similar examples that come to your mind in the comments, which are open for this post. It seems silly, but life is futile, and none of us have anything better to to do with our ‘ime’ anyway. ‘Rust’ me on that!
Actually the post should be :
I have decided ha words ha begin with the hard, heartless, masculine letter ‘’ sometimes sound much better withou hem. For example, such charm would come to si under a ‘ree’. How nice i would be to ‘ouch’ someone you love on the ‘ummy’. o hear he rain ‘ippetty-ap-ap’ on he roof, indeed, o ravel in a ‘rain’, o ‘umble and fall’ afer ‘ripping’ on an ‘omato’ ha jus happens, serendipiously, to be on he floor. Even he ‘Imes of India’ sounds suiably frivolous…..
Now try to read that. Maybe you will get a new respect for the very hardworking ‘T’. :-)
#1 Posted by rishi on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 7:20:53
Young man, read the 15th word of my post—‘sometimes.’ I get to choose.
(And also the seventh word, ‘begin’.)
This is like my saying that sometimes I like to be away from the sun, and you pop up and tell me that sunshine is necessary for survival. Of course it is. Whoever said otherwise?
Too much ‘ime’ you have on your hands!
#2 Posted by Amit Varma on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 8:01:26
The musical possibilities are remendous. Here’s a list of my op five songs in your alternate universe (I was going to say five favorite racks, but your Rodney Carrington post already covered that, no?)
1. Frank Sinatra: ‘The Lady is a Ramp’
2. The Beatles: ‘Day Ripper’
3. Simon & Garfunkel: ‘Bridge over Roubled Water’
4. The Wonders: ‘Hat Hing(e) You Do’
5. Marvin Gaye (with Kim Weston): ‘It Akes Wo’ (sing it)
#3 Posted by Falstaff on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 8:01:34
(Sorry, I can’t resist):
Op Five Books:
1. Charles Dickens’ The Ale of Two Cities
2. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s His Side of Paradise
3. H.G. Wells’ The I, Me Machine
4. William Shakespeare’s The Aiming of the Shrew.
(and, in keeping with the currency theme)
5. Franz Kafka’s The Rial.
#4 Posted by Falstaff on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 8:30:04
Some good movie titles:
The Ramp. (Charlie Chaplin meets the fashion industry)
Errorist (Kinda like the person who spread error and make the world a tougher place to live)
And the best of them:
The Burning Rain. (just imaginethe possibilities….Dharamendra, Vinod Khanna and Jeetendra wearing costume made of silver foil and saving the world from water on fire.
#5 Posted by Dhananjay Mhatre on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 9:49:03
Or if Bipasha read the story of the De, and said:
“Oo, much information! ‘its’ been paid for”
#6 Posted by Jitesh on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 11:03:00
Tamil Nadu becomes Amil Nadu. Now that could spell some Rouble!
#7 Posted by Akhil on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 11:21:40
Even though you mention words “beginning with T”.. “Ami varma” sure sounds very P3 types.. :p
#8 Posted by Twilight Fairy on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 11:32:13
‘’ is ineviable. I can’ imagine wriing wihou i..
#9 Posted by Ramesh Natarajan on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 1:08:31
It would work rather well for a certain Indian cricketer. His new t-less name would suit where he’s headed too: Sachin Endulkar!
#10 Posted by Aditya Kuber on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 1:24:44
Be nice to ogle at some ‘its and ass.
Biting into an ‘ootsie roll also sounds like something you should be doing.
Hopefully there’ll be some ‘onsil hockey by the end of the evening :)))
#11 Posted by noop on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 3:54:02
Reminds me of 2nd standard… six ones a six….six twos are twelve….......and so on ..
why is this relevant. there was a kid in 2nd standard that could not say six. she said….tit. Our then innocent minds knew not of any meaning for this rather innocuous word but rust me when I say we rolled over in laughter when she said the 6 tables..er..ables! With tit-tit’s are…tirrty-six being the best.
Why do you want to take the humor out of my life, amit by Taking away my Tantalizing Tiltillating Titty-humorous memory :) There… I said it.. I’m not banning the T…I’m thinking of some alliterative T phrases for your posts and send them your way later :)
#12 Posted by sanjeev on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 4:26:26
IU pe bagawat… (hamaarein jail mein surang…)
A new aandolan is being started herewith…
Stand up for the T.
Twitching with tremulous trepidition…
I ask all IU readers to join me at Tasty Morsels of Life for further details later today.
We (er.. I?) are/am the T-T party and we will stand up against the cult of the anti-T’s. :)
P.S.: A plea from Boston train & bus riders. T is also the commonly used name for the public transportation system here in Boston. MBTA is the official name but everyone calls it the T. What would we be riding if you were to ban words starting with T.)
#13 Posted by Sanjeev on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 5:26:51
And in other news, Myspace blocks the letter ‘i’. Yes, this is for real.
#14 Posted by blr bytes on Mon, July 23, 2007 at 6:29:06
Thanks all, this is quite ‘errific!’
Falstaff, I’m dying just imagining the ‘railer’ of The Burning ‘Rain’. Such joy.
#15 Posted by Amit Varma on Tue, July 24, 2007 at 3:50:52
uhh….the Burning Rain comment was from me….
GLad that you enjoyed it.
#16 Posted by Dhananjay Mhatre on Tue, July 24, 2007 at 9:54:40
Now I want to sing this song without a ‘T’-
“Isy Bisy eenie Weenie Yellow Polka ot Bikini…”
#17 Posted by Deepika Patil on Tue, July 24, 2007 at 12:15:43
Deepika, I certainly hope the bikini in question is an ‘opless’ one.
Dhananjay, sorry, my mistake. Such ‘errible’ confusion!
#18 Posted by Amit Varma on Wed, July 25, 2007 at 10:24:25
Henry Ford would have committed suicide if he had to name his first car brand as Model ” “.....
#19 Posted by Dhananjay Mhatre on Wed, July 25, 2007 at 3:07:03
Sita Sings the Blues: The Greatest Break-Up Story Ever Told
Dev.D doesn't flinch from depicting the individual’s downward spiral
9 across: Van Morrison classic from Moondance (7)
6 down: Order beginning with ‘A’ (12)