Boobs, Boobs

Finally there is scientific research to validate my long-held belief that boobs are wonderful.

A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.”

Yes, that comma has no place in that last sentence—but hell, which man wouldn’t pause after a thought like that. Indeed, I am so inspired by the mere thought of staring at boobs for good health that I now offer you, with apologies to William Blake, a little ditty:

Boobs, Boobs
by Amit Varma

Boobs, boobs, so upright
In the forests of the night,
What masculine hand or eye
Could resist thy fearful symmetry?

Forget the distant deeps and thighs      
Forget the lustre of the eyes
Your thought alone makes men perspire
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Under the choli is thy heart
And when thy heart begins to beat,
Your bosom heaves, I feel complete.

Boobs, boobs, so upright
In the forests of the night,
I come to thee, I come to thee
I’ll tear thy bra and set thee free.

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And earlier…

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Oh, and I got the link to that wonderful news piece via a Facebook link by my friend Shandana Minhas.

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Update: Damn. It turns out that the study is question is an urban legend. Back to the treadmill, boys.