Fluffy Pink Handcuffs

This is the best first line of any news story this week:

The attempted armed robbery of a Russian hairdresser became a three-day sex ordeal for the would-be thief, leaving him with torn genitals and a Viagra hangover.

Apparently the dude tried to rob a hairdresser “in the town of Meshchovsk,” but as she was pretending to hand over her money, she “used her karate skills to knock him to the ground and tie him up with a hairdryer cord.” Then she “locked him in the storeroom… stripped him and cuffed him to a heater with a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs. She then fed him Viagra and raped him several times over the next four days.”

I’m not sure whether I should feel sorry for the guy—especially after reading the last line of the story. I mean, who needs a frenulum?


Does anybody else think that this might just be a metaphor for marriage? Ok, no, just a thought…

(Link via email from Rahul.)