“No Escape From Killer Trucks”

I love this headline.

Someone should make a totally pulpy Bollywood horror film out of this. Like Duel on steroids, with Ramsay Brothers production values, and maybe a song or two. It could begin with Delhi police inspector Khiladi Singh (Akshay Kumar) getting married to his childhood sweetheart Sallu (Katrina Kaif), with much song and dance. Then, just as he’s about to proceed on his honeymoon to China, a phone call comes. It’s the DSP (Paresh Rawal). Killer trucks are on the loose in Central Delhi, he says. Fifty people are already dead.

“How many trucks,” asks Akshay.

“At least six,” says the DSP.

“I’ll come right away. I’ll get those drivers, dead or alive”

“Wait—there’s something you need to know first.”


“The trucks have no drivers.”

So Akshay goes after the driverless killer trucks, asking Katrina to stay at home. She turns on the TV. She sees pictures of havoc and destruction, and a TV presenter (Esha Deol) is mowed down from behind by a killer truck while talking to the camera. So, presumably, is the cameraman. The screen shows static. And then a commercial comes on.

Katrina decides to go and join her man in his battle for civilization. And, as we find out in the end, it is just this decision that saves Delhi.

Coming soon to no theaters near you.