Oh Melinda!

Imagine there’s a God. Yes, yes, I know it’s hard, but billions of people do it, and so can you. Imagine there’s a God. Imagine you’re an angel sitting on the clouds and watching the action down below. And—here’s the thing—you already know what’s going to happen in the future.

So you sit on that cloud and watch the lives of people knowing what’s going to happen to them, all the sadness and joys, while they remain unaware of what lies ahead, and you know. And when bad shit happens to them, how agonizing it must be for you, watching their innocent moments of hope before the fall.

Well, that’s how I feel right now watching the American Idol results episode. It’s a delayed telecast here in India, and I already know, courtesy the Godlike omniscience of the internet, that the amazing Melinda Dolittle is out. And yet the show is going on, and everyone’s smiling. Scoundrels!

And then God decides in her infinite wisdom that rain is required. So from an angel on a cloud, you’re a raindrop waiting to hit the ground. Splash!