{"id":3618,"date":"2016-05-21T10:09:09","date_gmt":"2016-05-21T04:39:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.indiauncut.com\/?p=3990"},"modified":"2016-05-21T10:09:09","modified_gmt":"2016-05-21T04:39:09","slug":"troller-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Troller Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

The song below is to be sung to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’<\/a>. (Original lyrics here<\/a>.) I started writing this at exactly 9am today, I swear!<\/i><\/p>\n

TROLLER MAN<\/p>\n

It’s 9am on a Saturday.
\nRegular tweeps shuffle in.
\nThere’s an old troll sitting on my timeline
\nSpitting in his tonic and gin.<\/p>\n

He says, ‘Slut, why you criticize policy?
\nI’m not really sure where that goes.
\nI’d pull you to the street, and I’d kick out your teeth,
\nbut right now I’m not wearing clothes.’<\/p>\n

La la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times,
\nNow we’re in the mood for a fight.<\/p>\n

Now Mr Shah at the bar is a friend of mine
\nHe gets me retweets for free
\nHe’s quick with a joke, or a Facebook poke
\nBut there’s someplace that he’d rather be.<\/p>\n

He says, ‘I believe achhe din<\/i> are here,’
\nAs the Muslims rush out of the place.
\n‘I’m soon gonna be a movie star
\nin a film called “Buddha in Space”.’<\/p>\n

Oh, la la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Now Naren is a full-on brahmachari
\nWho never had time for a wife.
\nHe’s talking with Jaitley, who has lately
\nPut the nation under much strife.<\/p>\n

And the politicians are practising warcraft
\nAnd the journos are all getting stoned
\nPoor Sushma sitting in a corner with dignity
\nNursing her drink all alone.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’re useless as hell, and we only feel well
\nWhen the toddy has made us all tight.<\/p>\n

Pappu’s passed out in a corner.
\nSome scoundrels put gin in his milk.
\nPolitics is tough. This life is so rough,
\nBut his sleep is smoother than silk.<\/p>\n

Arvind is out picking pockets
\nSoon he’ll shout, ‘Hey, the drinks are on me!’
\nVadra’s a bouncer, who thinks he’s an announcer
\nWhat would he be without family?<\/p>\n

Oh, la la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times,
\nNow we’re in the mood for a fight.<\/p>\n

Oh la la la, di di da
\nWe’re in the mood for a fight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The song below is to be sung to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’<\/a>. (Original lyrics here<\/a>.) I started writing this at exactly 9am today, I swear!<\/i><\/p>\n

TROLLER MAN<\/p>\n

It’s 9am on a Saturday.
\nRegular tweeps shuffle in.
\nThere’s an old troll sitting on my timeline
\nSpitting in his tonic and gin.<\/p>\n

He says, ‘Slut, why you criticize policy?
\nI’m not really sure where that goes.
\nI’d pull you to the street, and I’d kick out your teeth,
\nbut right now I’m not wearing clothes.’<\/p>\n

La la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times,
\nNow we’re in the mood for a fight.<\/p>\n

Now Mr Shah at the bar is a friend of mine
\nHe gets me retweets for free
\nHe’s quick with a joke, or a Facebook poke
\nBut there’s someplace that he’d rather be.<\/p>\n

He says, ‘I believe achhe din<\/i> are here,’
\nAs the Muslims rush out of the place.
\n‘I’m soon gonna be a movie star
\nin a film called “Buddha in Space”.’<\/p>\n

Oh, la la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Now Naren is a full-on brahmachari
\nWho never had time for a wife.
\nHe’s talking with Jaitley, who has lately
\nPut the nation under much strife.<\/p>\n

And the politicians are practising warcraft
\nAnd the journos are all getting stoned
\nPoor Sushma sitting in a corner with dignity
\nNursing her drink all alone.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’re useless as hell, and we only feel well
\nWhen the toddy has made us all tight.<\/p>\n

Pappu’s passed out in a corner.
\nSome scoundrels put gin in his milk.
\nPolitics is tough. This life is so rough,
\nBut his sleep is smoother than silk.<\/p>\n

Arvind is out picking pockets
\nSoon he’ll shout, ‘Hey, the drinks are on me!’
\nVadra’s a bouncer, who thinks he’s an announcer
\nWhat would he be without family?<\/p>\n

Oh, la la la, di di da
\nLa la, di da da da dum.<\/p>\n

Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man.
\nSing us a song tonight.
\nWe’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times,
\nNow we’re in the mood for a fight.<\/p>\n

Oh la la la, di di da
\nWe’re in the mood for a fight!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nTroller Man - India Uncut<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Troller Man - India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The song below is to be sung to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’. (Original lyrics here.) I started writing this at exactly 9am today, I swear! TROLLER MAN It’s 9am on a Saturday. Regular tweeps shuffle in. There’s an old troll sitting on my timeline Spitting in his tonic and gin. He says, ‘Slut, why you criticize policy? I’m not really sure where that goes. I’d pull you to the street, and I’d kick out your teeth, but right now I’m not wearing clothes.’ La la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times, Now we’re in the mood for a fight. Now Mr Shah at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me retweets for free He’s quick with a joke, or a Facebook poke But there’s someplace that he’d rather be. He says, ‘I believe achhe din are here,’ As the Muslims rush out of the place. ‘I’m soon gonna be a movie star in a film called “Buddha in Space”.’ Oh, la la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Now Naren is a full-on brahmachari Who never had time for a wife. He’s talking with Jaitley, who has lately Put the nation under much strife. And the politicians are practising warcraft And the journos are all getting stoned Poor Sushma sitting in a corner with dignity Nursing her drink all alone. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’re useless as hell, and we only feel well When the toddy has made us all tight. Pappu’s passed out in a corner. Some scoundrels put gin in his milk. Politics is tough. This life is so rough, But his sleep is smoother than silk. Arvind is out picking pockets Soon he’ll shout, ‘Hey, the drinks are on me!’ Vadra’s a bouncer, who thinks he’s an announcer What would he be without family? Oh, la la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times, Now we’re in the mood for a fight. Oh la la la, di di da We’re in the mood for a fight!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-21T04:39:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/iu-placeholder4.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"822\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"headline\":\"Troller Man\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-21T04:39:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-05-21T04:39:09+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\"},\"wordCount\":425,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"articleSection\":[\"India\",\"Politics\",\"Rhymes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\",\"name\":\"Troller Man - India Uncut\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-21T04:39:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-05-21T04:39:09+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Troller Man\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\",\"name\":\"India Uncut\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\",\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"width\":200,\"height\":200,\"caption\":\"Amit Varma\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Troller Man - India Uncut","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/troller-man\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Troller Man - India Uncut","og_description":"The song below is to be sung to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’. (Original lyrics here.) I started writing this at exactly 9am today, I swear! TROLLER MAN It’s 9am on a Saturday. Regular tweeps shuffle in. There’s an old troll sitting on my timeline Spitting in his tonic and gin. He says, ‘Slut, why you criticize policy? I’m not really sure where that goes. I’d pull you to the street, and I’d kick out your teeth, but right now I’m not wearing clothes.’ La la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times, Now we’re in the mood for a fight. Now Mr Shah at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me retweets for free He’s quick with a joke, or a Facebook poke But there’s someplace that he’d rather be. He says, ‘I believe achhe din are here,’ As the Muslims rush out of the place. ‘I’m soon gonna be a movie star in a film called “Buddha in Space”.’ Oh, la la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Now Naren is a full-on brahmachari Who never had time for a wife. He’s talking with Jaitley, who has lately Put the nation under much strife. And the politicians are practising warcraft And the journos are all getting stoned Poor Sushma sitting in a corner with dignity Nursing her drink all alone. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’re useless as hell, and we only feel well When the toddy has made us all tight. Pappu’s passed out in a corner. Some scoundrels put gin in his milk. Politics is tough. This life is so rough, But his sleep is smoother than silk. Arvind is out picking pockets Soon he’ll shout, ‘Hey, the drinks are on me!’ Vadra’s a bouncer, who thinks he’s an announcer What would he be without family? Oh, la la la, di di da La la, di da da da dum. Sing us a song, you’re the Troller Man. Sing us a song tonight. We’[ve done photoshop, we’ve wanked 30 times, Now we’re in the mood for a fight. 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