{"id":3639,"date":"2016-04-05T20:59:17","date_gmt":"2016-04-05T15:29:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.indiauncut.com\/?p=3969"},"modified":"2016-04-05T20:59:17","modified_gmt":"2016-04-05T15:29:17","slug":"once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/","title":{"rendered":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I wrote some limericks for Twitter<\/a>, and I suppose they’re fun enough to share here:<\/p>\n

1
\nOnce there was a beautiful cow
\nWhose tastes were kinda highbrow
\nAnd then one day
\nBharat Mata ki jai
\nShe became a dog and said ‘bow-wow.’<\/p>\n

2
\nOnce there was a man of God
\nWho was ever so suitably awed
\nby a) the divine
\nAnd b) the bovine
\nWhen he saw a holy cow, he’d applaud.<\/p>\n

3
\nOnce there was a wife-beater
\nWho was a cad, a scoundrel, a cheater
\nHe mastered the arc
\nof the venomous snark
\nNow he’s a famous Tweeter.<\/p>\n

4
\nOnce there was a central banker
\nWho seemed solid as an anchor
\nHe lowered interest rates
\nopened the floodgates
\nTo inflation. What a wanker!<\/p>\n

5
\nOnce there was a central minister
\nWho developed a desh bhakti blister
\nOn his big fat palm
\n& the only balm
\nwas some grease. How sinister!<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

(Previous posts on cows: 1<\/a>, 2<\/a>, 3<\/a>, 4<\/a>, 5<\/a>, 6<\/a>, 7<\/a>, 8<\/a>, 9<\/a>, 10<\/a>, 11<\/a>, 12<\/a>, 13<\/a>, 14<\/a>, 15<\/a>, 16<\/a>, 17<\/a>, 18<\/a>, 19<\/a>, 20<\/a>, 21<\/a>, 22<\/a>, 23<\/a>, 24<\/a>, 25<\/a>, 26<\/a>, 27<\/a>, 28<\/a>, 29<\/a>, 30<\/a>, 31<\/a> , 32<\/a>, 33<\/a>, 34<\/a>, 35<\/a>, 36<\/a>, 37<\/a>, 38<\/a>, 39<\/a>, 40<\/a>, 41<\/a>, 42<\/a>, 43<\/a>, 44<\/a>, 45<\/a>, 46<\/a>, 47<\/a>, 48<\/a>, 49<\/a>, 50<\/a>, 51<\/a>, 52<\/a>, 53<\/a>, 54<\/a>, 55<\/a>, 56<\/a>, 57<\/a>, 58<\/a>, 59<\/a>, 60<\/a>, 61<\/a>, 62<\/a>, 63<\/a>, 64<\/a>, 65<\/a>, 66<\/a>, 67<\/a>, 68<\/a>, 69<\/a>, 70<\/a>, 71<\/a>, 72<\/a>, 73<\/a>, 74<\/a>, 75<\/a>, 76<\/a>, 77<\/a>, 78<\/a>, 79<\/a>, 80<\/a>, 81<\/a>, 82<\/a>, 83<\/a>, 84<\/a>, 85<\/a>, 86<\/a>, 87<\/a>, 88<\/a>, 89<\/a>, 90<\/a>, 91<\/a>, 92<\/a>, 93<\/a>, 94<\/a>, 95<\/a>, 96<\/a>, 97<\/a>, 98<\/a>, 99<\/a>, 100<\/a>, 101<\/a>, 102<\/a>, 103<\/a>, 104<\/a>, 105<\/a>, 106<\/a>, 107<\/a>, 108<\/a>, 109<\/a>, 110<\/a>, 111<\/a>, 112<\/a>, 113<\/a>, 114<\/a>, 115<\/a>, 116<\/a>, 117<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I wrote some limericks for Twitter<\/a>, and I suppose they’re fun enough to share here:<\/p>\n

1
\nOnce there was a beautiful cow
\nWhose tastes were kinda highbrow
\nAnd then one day
\nBharat Mata ki jai
\nShe became a dog and said ‘bow-wow.’<\/p>\n

2
\nOnce there was a man of God
\nWho was ever so suitably awed
\nby a) the divine
\nAnd b) the bovine
\nWhen he saw a holy cow, he’d applaud.<\/p>\n

3
\nOnce there was a wife-beater
\nWho was a cad, a scoundrel, a cheater
\nHe mastered the arc
\nof the venomous snark
\nNow he’s a famous Tweeter.<\/p>\n

4
\nOnce there was a central banker
\nWho seemed solid as an anchor
\nHe lowered interest rates
\nopened the floodgates
\nTo inflation. What a wanker!<\/p>\n

5
\nOnce there was a central minister
\nWho developed a desh bhakti blister
\nOn his big fat palm
\n& the only balm
\nwas some grease. How sinister!<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

(Previous posts on cows: 1<\/a>, 2<\/a>, 3<\/a>, 4<\/a>, 5<\/a>, 6<\/a>, 7<\/a>, 8<\/a>, 9<\/a>, 10<\/a>, 11<\/a>, 12<\/a>, 13<\/a>, 14<\/a>, 15<\/a>, 16<\/a>, 17<\/a>, 18<\/a>, 19<\/a>, 20<\/a>, 21<\/a>, 22<\/a>, 23<\/a>, 24<\/a>, 25<\/a>, 26<\/a>, 27<\/a>, 28<\/a>, 29<\/a>, 30<\/a>, 31<\/a> , 32<\/a>, 33<\/a>, 34<\/a>, 35<\/a>, 36<\/a>, 37<\/a>, 38<\/a>, 39<\/a>, 40<\/a>, 41<\/a>, 42<\/a>, 43<\/a>, 44<\/a>, 45<\/a>, 46<\/a>, 47<\/a>, 48<\/a>, 49<\/a>, 50<\/a>, 51<\/a>, 52<\/a>, 53<\/a>, 54<\/a>, 55<\/a>, 56<\/a>, 57<\/a>, 58<\/a>, 59<\/a>, 60<\/a>, 61<\/a>, 62<\/a>, 63<\/a>, 64<\/a>, 65<\/a>, 66<\/a>, 67<\/a>, 68<\/a>, 69<\/a>, 70<\/a>, 71<\/a>, 72<\/a>, 73<\/a>, 74<\/a>, 75<\/a>, 76<\/a>, 77<\/a>, 78<\/a>, 79<\/a>, 80<\/a>, 81<\/a>, 82<\/a>, 83<\/a>, 84<\/a>, 85<\/a>, 86<\/a>, 87<\/a>, 88<\/a>, 89<\/a>, 90<\/a>, 91<\/a>, 92<\/a>, 93<\/a>, 94<\/a>, 95<\/a>, 96<\/a>, 97<\/a>, 98<\/a>, 99<\/a>, 100<\/a>, 101<\/a>, 102<\/a>, 103<\/a>, 104<\/a>, 105<\/a>, 106<\/a>, 107<\/a>, 108<\/a>, 109<\/a>, 110<\/a>, 111<\/a>, 112<\/a>, 113<\/a>, 114<\/a>, 115<\/a>, 116<\/a>, 117<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,6,9,3,24,4,8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nOnce There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So I wrote some limericks for Twitter, and I suppose they’re fun enough to share here: 1 Once there was a beautiful cow Whose tastes were kinda highbrow And then one day Bharat Mata ki jai She became a dog and said ‘bow-wow.’ 2 Once there was a man of God Who was ever so suitably awed by a) the divine And b) the bovine When he saw a holy cow, he’d applaud. 3 Once there was a wife-beater Who was a cad, a scoundrel, a cheater He mastered the arc of the venomous snark Now he’s a famous Tweeter. 4 Once there was a central banker Who seemed solid as an anchor He lowered interest rates opened the floodgates To inflation. What a wanker! 5 Once there was a central minister Who developed a desh bhakti blister On his big fat palm & the only balm was some grease. How sinister! * (Previous posts on cows: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 , 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117.)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/iu-placeholder4.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"822\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"headline\":\"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\"},\"wordCount\":160,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Cows\",\"Economics\",\"Freedom\",\"India\",\"Old memes\",\"Politics\",\"Rhymes\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\",\"name\":\"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\",\"name\":\"India Uncut\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\",\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"width\":200,\"height\":200,\"caption\":\"Amit Varma\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut","og_description":"So I wrote some limericks for Twitter, and I suppose they’re fun enough to share here: 1 Once there was a beautiful cow Whose tastes were kinda highbrow And then one day Bharat Mata ki jai She became a dog and said ‘bow-wow.’ 2 Once there was a man of God Who was ever so suitably awed by a) the divine And b) the bovine When he saw a holy cow, he’d applaud. 3 Once there was a wife-beater Who was a cad, a scoundrel, a cheater He mastered the arc of the venomous snark Now he’s a famous Tweeter. 4 Once there was a central banker Who seemed solid as an anchor He lowered interest rates opened the floodgates To inflation. What a wanker! 5 Once there was a central minister Who developed a desh bhakti blister On his big fat palm & the only balm was some grease. How sinister! * (Previous posts on cows: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 , 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117.)","og_url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/","og_site_name":"India Uncut","article_published_time":"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00","og_image":[{"width":822,"height":800,"url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/iu-placeholder4.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Amit Varma","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Amit Varma","Estimated reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/"},"author":{"name":"Amit Varma","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"headline":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow","datePublished":"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00","dateModified":"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/"},"wordCount":160,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"articleSection":["Cows","Economics","Freedom","India","Old memes","Politics","Rhymes"],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/","name":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow - India Uncut","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00","dateModified":"2016-04-05T15:29:17+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/once-there-was-a-beautiful-cow\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Once There Was A Beautiful Cow"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/","name":"India Uncut","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c","name":"Amit Varma","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg","width":200,"height":200,"caption":"Amit Varma"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3639"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3639\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}