{"id":4236,"date":"2009-04-24T14:29:01","date_gmt":"2009-04-24T08:59:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.indiauncut.com\/?p=3362"},"modified":"2009-04-24T14:29:01","modified_gmt":"2009-04-24T08:59:01","slug":"its-not-varun-gandhis-fault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault"},"content":{"rendered":"

No, it seems that all the appalling things he said recently can be blamed on Rahu-Ketu<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I can imagine Mayawati’s cops landing up in heaven to arrest Rahu-Ketu under the NSA. Inspector Mishra, leading the police team, finds a boy in pajamas lying on a khatiya. ‘That’s him,’ shouts Mishra, and his men surround the boy.<\/p>\n

‘We know who you are,’ says Inspector Mishra, ‘but just for the record, identify yourself.’<\/p>\n

‘I’m Rahu,’ says the boy. ‘I had ordered a butter chicken a couple of centuries ago, is it ready yet? Man, service in heaven is so slow, the waiters take everything for granted.’<\/p>\n

‘Rahu,’ barks Inspector Mishra, ‘I hereby place you under arrest for instigating Varun Gandhi’s poisonous words. You have a right to remain silent. Until beaten.’<\/p>\n

‘Hey, wait a sec,’ says Rahu, ‘that wasn’t me. That was my brother Ketu.’<\/p>\n

(Link via email from Girish<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No, it seems that all the appalling things he said recently can be blamed on Rahu-Ketu<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I can imagine Mayawati’s cops landing up in heaven to arrest Rahu-Ketu under the NSA. Inspector Mishra, leading the police team, finds a boy in pajamas lying on a khatiya. ‘That’s him,’ shouts Mishra, and his men surround the boy.<\/p>\n

‘We know who you are,’ says Inspector Mishra, ‘but just for the record, identify yourself.’<\/p>\n

‘I’m Rahu,’ says the boy. ‘I had ordered a butter chicken a couple of centuries ago, is it ready yet? Man, service in heaven is so slow, the waiters take everything for granted.’<\/p>\n

‘Rahu,’ barks Inspector Mishra, ‘I hereby place you under arrest for instigating Varun Gandhi’s poisonous words. You have a right to remain silent. Until beaten.’<\/p>\n

‘Hey, wait a sec,’ says Rahu, ‘that wasn’t me. That was my brother Ketu.’<\/p>\n

(Link via email from Girish<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,33,3,24,4,17],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nIt\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No, it seems that all the appalling things he said recently can be blamed on Rahu-Ketu. I can imagine Mayawati’s cops landing up in heaven to arrest Rahu-Ketu under the NSA. Inspector Mishra, leading the police team, finds a boy in pajamas lying on a khatiya. ‘That’s him,’ shouts Mishra, and his men surround the boy. ‘We know who you are,’ says Inspector Mishra, ‘but just for the record, identify yourself.’ ‘I’m Rahu,’ says the boy. ‘I had ordered a butter chicken a couple of centuries ago, is it ready yet? Man, service in heaven is so slow, the waiters take everything for granted.’ ‘Rahu,’ barks Inspector Mishra, ‘I hereby place you under arrest for instigating Varun Gandhi’s poisonous words. You have a right to remain silent. Until beaten.’ ‘Hey, wait a sec,’ says Rahu, ‘that wasn’t me. That was my brother Ketu.’ (Link via email from Girish.)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/iu-placeholder4.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"822\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Amit Varma\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"headline\":\"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault\",\"datePublished\":\"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\"},\"wordCount\":160,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Astrology etc\",\"Dialogue\",\"India\",\"Old memes\",\"Politics\",\"WTF\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\",\"name\":\"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/\",\"name\":\"India Uncut\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c\",\"name\":\"Amit Varma\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg\",\"width\":200,\"height\":200,\"caption\":\"Amit Varma\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/","og_locale":"en_GB","og_type":"article","og_title":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut","og_description":"No, it seems that all the appalling things he said recently can be blamed on Rahu-Ketu. I can imagine Mayawati’s cops landing up in heaven to arrest Rahu-Ketu under the NSA. Inspector Mishra, leading the police team, finds a boy in pajamas lying on a khatiya. ‘That’s him,’ shouts Mishra, and his men surround the boy. ‘We know who you are,’ says Inspector Mishra, ‘but just for the record, identify yourself.’ ‘I’m Rahu,’ says the boy. ‘I had ordered a butter chicken a couple of centuries ago, is it ready yet? Man, service in heaven is so slow, the waiters take everything for granted.’ ‘Rahu,’ barks Inspector Mishra, ‘I hereby place you under arrest for instigating Varun Gandhi’s poisonous words. You have a right to remain silent. Until beaten.’ ‘Hey, wait a sec,’ says Rahu, ‘that wasn’t me. That was my brother Ketu.’ (Link via email from Girish.)","og_url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/","og_site_name":"India Uncut","article_published_time":"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00","og_image":[{"width":822,"height":800,"url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/iu-placeholder4.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Amit Varma","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Amit Varma","Estimated reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/"},"author":{"name":"Amit Varma","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"headline":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault","datePublished":"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00","dateModified":"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/"},"wordCount":160,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"articleSection":["Astrology etc","Dialogue","India","Old memes","Politics","WTF"],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/","name":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault - India Uncut","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00","dateModified":"2009-04-24T08:59:01+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-GB","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/its-not-varun-gandhis-fault\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"It\u2019s Not Varun Gandhi\u2019s Fault"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/","name":"India Uncut","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-GB"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/890a3d673b0c90c97d76c45a1754ac3c","name":"Amit Varma","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-GB","@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/amitvarma-bio.jpg","width":200,"height":200,"caption":"Amit Varma"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4236"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4236\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}