{"id":5865,"date":"2007-03-03T04:35:00","date_gmt":"2007-03-02T23:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.indiauncut.com\/?p=366"},"modified":"2007-03-03T04:35:00","modified_gmt":"2007-03-02T23:05:00","slug":"suicide-bomber-goes-to-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/suicide-bomber-goes-to-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"Suicide bomber goes to heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"

Imagine this: man enters crowded place. Man blows himself up. There is a flash of light. Man find he is still alive. Or wait! He is dead! But he is in the afterlife, and there<\/i> are the gates of heaven!<\/p>\n

Man goes to gate. Gate opens. God is standing there to greet him.<\/p>\n

“Welcome, young martyr,” says God. “For fighting them infidels, you get to come to heaven. And you know what you’re here to do, don’t you?”<\/p>\n

“Yes,” says Martyr. “I know. I was a loser on earth, but here I finally get some action. Bring me the 4000 virgins.”<\/p>\n

“4000 virgins?” says God. “Ha ha ha. You got to be kidding me.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Imagine this: man enters crowded place. Man blows himself up. There is a flash of light. Man find he is still alive. Or wait! He is dead! But he is in the afterlife, and there<\/i> are the gates of heaven!<\/p>\n

Man goes to gate. Gate opens. God is standing there to greet him.<\/p>\n

“Welcome, young martyr,” says God. “For fighting them infidels, you get to come to heaven. And you know what you’re here to do, don’t you?”<\/p>\n

“Yes,” says Martyr. “I know. I was a loser on earth, but here I finally get some action. Bring me the 4000 virgins.”<\/p>\n

“4000 virgins?” says God. “Ha ha ha. You got to be kidding me.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nSuicide bomber goes to heaven - India Uncut<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/indiauncut.com\/suicide-bomber-goes-to-heaven\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Suicide bomber goes to heaven - India Uncut\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Imagine this: man enters crowded place. Man blows himself up. There is a flash of light. Man find he is still alive. Or wait! He is dead! But he is in the afterlife, and there are the gates of heaven! Man goes to gate. Gate opens. God is standing there to greet him. “Welcome, young martyr,” says God. “For fighting them infidels, you get to come to heaven. And you know what you’re here to do, don’t you?” “Yes,” says Martyr. “I know. I was a loser on earth, but here I finally get some action. Bring me the 4000 virgins.” “4000 virgins?” says God. “Ha ha ha. 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