04 March, 2007

On internet connections

Dear readers

For your enjoyment, an email conversation is reproduced below, between me and my kind friend Manish Vij, who has consented to the publication of this most-enlightening exchange. Please read from the top. As I am blogging this via broadband, the grain of rice in front of me lies unsullied.

Warm regards and Happy Holi

Amit

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email 1
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From: Manish Vij
Date: Mar 4, 2007 4:55 PM
Subject: Dear friends
To: Amit Varma; [snip]

Dear friends,

Now that my dialup connection is working at a quarter its usual, blazing 3 kb/s speed, it’s freed up loads of time for me to develop my hobbies. For example, in the time it took me to send this email, I learned the art of bonsai, the war strategies of Dronacharya and Clausewitz and the complete works of Milton and Donne, especially the parts about Hell. Ha ha! Why no, there’s no relation, why do you ask?

Your loving friend,

Manish

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email 2
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From: Amit Varma
Date: Mar 4, 2007 5:11 PM
Subject: Re: Dear friends
To: Manish Vij, [snip]

Dear Manish

I can understand your delight. In my pre-broadband days, when I used my Hutch GPRS, I read the entire works of Shakespeare while logging into Gmail. In three languages. I also copied out the Ramayana on a grain of rice and knitted a blanket that could cover my entire family. (All the way to ninth cousins.)

Sadly, my internet speed is now blazing fast, and I do not even get time to read the newspaper. How I envy you!

The very warmest of regards

Amit

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email 3
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From: Manish Vij
Date: Mar 4, 2007 8:29 PM
Subject: Re: Dear friends
To: Amit Varma, [snip]

Dear Amit,

I do not wish to keep my good fortune to myself for that would be selfish of me and bad for our great nation. Accordingly, when I next see you I shall surreptitiously snip your DSL cable so that you may return to your thespian knitting ways. No need to thank me. I am only being a true friend.

Wishing my pleasures upon your soul,

Manish

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Update: Manish also blogs this conversation, with an additional email that I didn’t post here.