Your Coffee is Not Aroused

One of the pieces of advice many writing guides will give you is to keep it simple, and to prefer short words over long ones. Well, Pointy Haired Dilbert, via email,  points me to a resource that helps you do just this: Thsrs—The Shorter Thesaurus.

Knowing what the typical India Uncut reader is likely to feed in there, I searched for shorter synonyms of ‘aroused’. One of the options I was offered was ‘horny’. So I looked at shorter options for ‘horny’ and got ‘sexy’. (This assumes all sexy people are horny; every day I learn new things.) I fed in ‘sexy’, and got ‘hot’.

The lesson to learn from this is that one should never say: “I like my coffee aroused.” Instead, always say: “I like my coffee hot.” Keep it simple.

PS: The half-Bengali in me is proud that Thsrs could not find shorter alternatives to ‘lobongolotika’. It


shows that we already keep it as simple as possible.