The relationship police

AP reports:

A Canadian man won’t be available for a relationship over the next three years—by court order.

An Ontario judge has ruled that Steven Cranley cannot have a girlfriend until 2010.

He can, however, start masturbating in 2009.

Ok, fine, I made that third line up. But not the first two!

(Link via email from Shruti.)

Paris Hilton’s spirit or soul

Move over Osho—Paris Hilton is here. The Guardian reports on how jail has affected Ms Hilton:

She said she had been guided in her transformation by a spiritual adviser who told her: “My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail.” But redemption was at hand. “God has released me. I feel that the purpose of my life is to be where I am.”

Indeed. Such a pity, though, that “the absence of face cream had left her skin parched.” Prison is supposed to reform people, not deform them.

(Link via email from Rahul Bhatia.)

Mahima Chaudhary for president

I withdraw my nomination of Mango. Mahima Chaudhary should be India’s next president. Her candidacy sprung to mind after I read this insightful quote by her:

Giving birth is like running a nation! And women who go through it, are truly angels.

So for all practical purposes, Mahima has experience in governance, and also the character that the job requires. Mahima for president!

(Disclaimer: I don’t know if I should confess this, but when I joined Channel [V] in 1995, Mahima, then known as Ritu Chaudhary, was the first VJ I wrote for. If she is elected, I shall offer her my speech-writing services for free. I can’t match Mr Kalam’s poems, but I do have the requisite appreciation of purplocity.)

Categories WTF

Worst logo ever

image

Sigh. Isn’t the logo above, unveiled recently for the 2012 Olympics, in a class of its own for badness? Have the gentlemen who selected this design never heard of the virtues of simplicity? How they must all hate the Swoosh.

And can you believe they paid £400,000 for this? (That’s about Rs 3.2 crore.) Pestilential parakeets plunder.

(Link via email from Aspi Havewala, who also points me to a discussion on BBC here.)

Update: Anon Tipster points me to Tim Worstall’s revelation that the logo shows Lisa Simpson giving a blow job. The two gifs below, created by Theo Spark, illustrate that and go a bit further.

london-copy.gif

Olympics2.gif

Now I like it!

Update 2: Scribbler points me to Andrew Orlowski’s post on how the BBC, showcasing user-generated logos, ran a parody of the infamous Goatse on their website. Heh.

A daughter, a gun

Immense WTFness happens as I read this interview of Arshad Warsi, in which he says:

I always wanted a girl. She is an angel, at least till now. As she grows up, I will give her a gun, if need be.

Well, we always did know that Circuit was under Munnabhai’s spell, didn’t we? What to say now?

WTF quotes of the day

First, from CD Gopinath of Air Deccan (via email from Gautam):

Because of greater efficiency, we will be able to price our tickets higher.

And then, Venus Williams, after losing in the French Open to Jelena Jankovic:

I actually feel like I’m playing well. I just made errors before her.

It reminds me of the time Don Bradman said, “I saw much better batsmen than I was. Lots of them… they just kept getting out.” Bradman, of course, was being modest, or maybe naughtily funny. Williams, I think, just misses the point entirely.

And for more WTF action, here’s someone complaining about her allegedly gay bunnies. (Via email from MadMan.) What to say now?

Categories WTF